A New Start Read online

  She wished she had some sort of weapon, but glancing around her darkened room, she found nothing that she could utilize to defend herself if necessary. Quickly, she crept to her bedroom door and peeked down the hallway. There was no one there. The scent of tobacco wasn't as heavy in the hallway as it had been in her bedroom. She crept along the hallway, sticking close to the walls to prevent the wooden floors from squeaking, pausing every few steps to listen but heard nothing.

  Could she have imagined or dreamt it? Carefully, Jessica searched the entire upper floor and then the downstairs. The doors were locked, and so were the windows. There were no signs of any trespassers that she could see. The smell of tobacco was not downstairs, so she was sure it was isolated to just the upstairs. With her nerves a little frayed, she returned to her room. She was surprised to find that there was no smell of the tobacco she’d smelled earlier in the room.

  She didn't know what to think, and tears sprang to her eyes. This was not something she needed, considering her present situation. She had been hoping for the freedom of not having to worry about looking over her shoulder for the rest of her life. Why couldn't he just forget about her? She definitely wanted to forget about him.

  She climbed back into bed but was quite alert and doubted very much she could go back to sleep. An owl hooted in a tree outside her window. She knew the owl would remain silent if anything was out there, so instead of annoying her, the noise comforted her. Slowly, she began to relax and finally drifted off to sleep.

  As she drifted into sleep, she imagined her mother coming to bid her goodnight. It was as if her mother’s gentle hand was brushing Jessica’s bangs aside as she leaned down to kiss Jessica’s forehead. For an instant, Jessica could imagine the scent of her mother's night cream, and she smiled. "G’night, Mom," she whispered, half asleep. "Goodnight, darling," a soft voice whispered back.

  Despite the fact that Jessica had embroiled herself in the effort to decorate the house for Christmas, she felt like she was moving around with a monkey on her back. During the past week, her imagination had run wild. She had ventured up into the attic and carried down box after box of Christmas decorations, trying to focus on finding her Christmas spirit for the first time in years, but it was not as easy as she had thought.

  Her ex-husband had not been fond of celebrating Christmas and had actually made fun of her for wanting to decorate their apartment during the holidays. After their first two Christmases, she had given up the effort completely. Now here she was, digging through boxes and remembering the joys and pleasures of Christmas growing up. She felt a heaviness in her heart because she had missed out on so much in life, and most importantly, on times with her mother.

  She had been in such a hurry to leave King’s Gap that she had forgotten what a good life she had had here. Here she was starting over after all her dreams had come to naught. Being a divorcee with a stalker ex-husband, she no longer had a career she could count on, and she was desperately trying to regain some amount of Christmas spirit through these decorations.

  That morning she had purchased her first Christmas tree in about a decade. The boys at the Christmas tree lot had tied the tree to the roof of her car with twine, and she had struggled to get it off, drag it inside, and mount it in the old, rusting holder her mother had owned for as long as she could remember. The living room smelled of pine, which made the house feel like a home once more. Looking around at the mess she had made from boxes filled with Christmas ornaments, garlands, and trinkets, she laughed until she noticed the old .38 that she had bought at the local pawnshop. It was lying in plain view on the coffee table, its very presence mocking the spirit of Christmas.

  With the gun nearby, she felt safer knowing she had it for protection. The pawnshop owner had told her that the .38 revolver was easy to use. "Point and shoot," he had said. That seemed easy enough, but when she really thought about it, she wondered if she could possibly pull the trigger on her ex-husband if he happened to show up. After a moment's thought, she nodded. "You betcha," she muttered at the Christmas tree.

  In a melancholy mood that evening, she had a few glasses of wine and admired the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree. Perhaps coming back to King’s Gap had not been such a good idea after all, she thought. Since she'd arrived, she’d been overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, regret, and loss. She stared at the gun sitting on the coffee table in front of her, mocking her efforts to somehow get back to a normal life. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and snickered to herself.

  What’s a normal life? She asked herself. Is it jumping every time I see or hear something? Looking over my shoulder everywhere I go? Is that normal?

  Perhaps she should just put the house up for sale and pick a place on the map far away so she could disappear; these were thoughts she’d had lately. However, she knew that just disappearing would never be the answer to all her problems. She looked down at her wine glass, one sip left, and lifted the glass to her mouth with a sigh.

  She finished the last of it and was about to head upstairs when a loud pounding sounded on the front door. She was so startled that the glass flew out of her hand, shattering on the floor.

  "I know you're in there, Jessica, so open it up!"

  Her heart accelerated to overdrive, and she felt the blood drain from her face. How had her ex-husband found her? Then she looked down at her cell phone lying on the coffee table not far from the gun. Crap, she thought. He’d somehow been able to track her location with GPS tracking. She quickly scooped up the gun and held it in her trembling hand, wondering if she could make it out the back door and into the woods without him following her.

  Suddenly, harsh thuds sounded at the door as if he was kicking or slamming his shoulder against it. This made her stand up as she realized he was serious about getting inside the house. The temperature of the room suddenly dropped, and it felt colder than it should have. No windows had been broken nor any door opened, but the temperature seemed to have dropped by twenty degrees or more. She grabbed her cell phone and quickly hurried upstairs and locked herself in one of the bedrooms. She had barely passed the threshold when the door slammed behind her. In her panicked state, she quickly refocused on the issue at hand and dialed the King’s Gap emergency number. Downstairs, the slamming against the door and yelling continued.

  One ring later, a voice answered. "King’s Gap 9-1-1, what is your emergency?" a calm, female voice asked.

  "There's someone trying to break into my house!" Jessica hissed into the phone, afraid to speak louder. The thumping from outside continued, and then she heard a loud crash. "He's in the house!"

  "Ma'am, try to stay calm, and keep the line open. A deputy is in route--"

  "Jessica! Jessica, I know you're in here!" The enraged voice from downstairs continued to rant at her. “I warned you about trying to get away from me, didn’t I?" She heard crashing noises downstairs and could only imagine what he was doing. Probably destroying everything in his path. She huddled deeper into the closet and spoke into the phone. "He's ransacking the house!"

  "A deputy is on the way," the 9-1-1 operator informed her. “You should be hearing the siren any moment now."

  Jessica huddled behind her mother's clothes in the closet, feeling a strange sense of calm envelope her. She felt like she had when she was a little girl and in trouble or scared, and her mom would come and make her feel better. Tears blurred her vision as all the mistakes she’d ever made resurfaced.

  She heard a shout from downstairs followed by another crash. “What in heaven's name?” she whispered, her voice muffled by her mother’s clothing.

  A moment later, she heard an approaching siren. Feeling safer, she stepped out of the closet and into the bedroom. She glanced around and noticed that the photograph of her and Darren was lying face down once more. She was about to move toward it when another shout came from downstairs followed by a grunt. Propelled by the sounds, she opened the door and walked to the head of the stairway, holding the gun in her hand. Not remember
ing how to use it, the thing felt heavy and clunky in her hand.

  "Jessica!" came a shout from downstairs. "Jessica, where are you?"

  Relief washed over her when she recognized Jake's voice. "I'm up here at the top of the stairs," she said, her voice trembling and on the verge of tears. Cautiously, she started down the stairs just as a deputy stepped through the front door.

  "Hands up on top of your head!" The deputy ordered, pointing his service revolver at Jake.

  Jessica hurried down the stairs, eyes wide with alarm as she saw the damage done to the living room. Her ex-husband lay face down on the floor, unconscious. She glanced quickly from him to Jake.

  "That's my ex-husband on the floor," Jessica informed the deputy. “He's been stalking me," Jessica explained. She turned to Jake. "Are you okay?"

  He nodded. “He was like that when I got inside,” Jake said.

  Jessica looked at him in surprise. “What? You didn’t do that?”

  “No,” Jake said, reaching out a hand. "Let me have the weapon," he said.

  At the same time, the deputy stepped toward the man lying on the floor, pulling a set of handcuffs from a small pouch at his waist. He quickly placed Darren in the cuffs and then rolled him over. He was out cold. Jessica felt a wave of horror sweep over her as she looked at her former husband. He didn't look anything like she remembered. He looked horrid with bags under his eyes and a face that had several days’ worth of whiskers darkening his cheeks. His long, disheveled hair made him look like a crazy person.

  Her heart continued to thud heavily in her chest as she gazed down at him. The deputy called for backup while Jake gently grasped her arm and led her to the far side of the room, setting her on the sofa. She gazed around the room in surprise. It was in shambles, the Christmas tree knocked over, the coffee table askew, and two lamps were shattered on the floor.

  She looked up at Jake, tears blurring her vision. "If you hadn't gotten here when you did…"

  "I decided to come by and see what kind of work needed to be done," Jake shrugged. He cast a disparaging look at the man lying on the floor. "Good thing I did too." He glanced around the room as well. “Looks like he was going to trash the place.” He turned to look at Jessica. He saw her trembling lips, her pale features, and her tears. Without hesitation, he wrapped her in a warm embrace that brought the past rushing back up to meet her. At the same moment, she caught the slight scent of honeysuckle. She looked up in surprise.

  "What is it?" Jake asked, frowning as he peered into her features.

  "Do you smell that?" she asked.

  “Smell what?"

  "Honeysuckle," she said. She leaned into Jake's arms again and cast a quick glance around the room. Suddenly, she felt as if something had brushed against the back of her head, almost a caress. At first she thought it was Jake, but then she realized that both his hands were wrapped around her. Her eyes widened in surprise. Suddenly, Jessica felt much calmer than she had felt in years. She was not alone. She would never be alone, not completely. She looked at Jake and smiled happily. "It's nothing," she assured him. "I just got the strongest presence of my mom," she admitted. "I have a feeling that she's here with me, in spirit." Jake smiled. "I'm sure she is, Jessica. I'm sure she is."

  Less than two weeks later, the house looked brand new thanks to Jake; he’d done all the repairs and helped her clean up the mess Darren had made. Her ex-husband was in jail back in New York for embezzlement, stalking, breaking and entering, and assault. He would be spending a long time behind bars, and for that she was grateful.

  King’s Gap was her new home for the time being, and she felt more than comfortable in her old house, surrounded by memories of her mother in happier times. She settled in rather quickly, and it certainly didn't hurt that she and Jake had also revived their friendship. She looked forward to enjoying Christmas, which would mark a new start for her.

  Footsteps interrupted her thoughts as Jake came out of the kitchen bearing two cups of steaming apple cider. "Are you ready for the carolers?" he asked. He glanced at the clock on the wall. "They'll be here any minute, you know."

  Jessica smiled and nodded. The house was bright and cheerful, and the scent of hot apple cider and hot cocoa filled the downstairs. Then, from down the long driveway, she heard the sound of revelers approaching the house and singing ‘Deck the Halls’. She and Jake moved to the front door together. She opened it, waiting to greet the singers.

  Jake pulled her into his arms and glanced upward with a mischievous grin. She followed his gaze and smiled. They stood under a sprig of mistletoe. She laughed and welcomed the embraced of Jake's strong arms as his warm lips touched hers.

  Thus began Jessica's first Christmas back in King's Gap, and it certainly would not be the last.

  Home for Christmas

  Chapter 1

  It wasn’t easy getting away from him and every few minutes I glanced over my shoulder fearing he would follow me. My heart pounded in my chest as I carefully guided the car through the mild winter storm; my hands shook as I thought about finally being free.

  Glancing at the rearview mirror, I saw my little girls fast asleep. Both of them were wrapped in warm blankets and I was amazed at how peaceful they looked now. The last five years, trapped in an abusive marriage, had been the hardest years of my life; and it hadn’t been very easy on them either. It had taken every ounce of my strength to make it to this point. My girls and I had been through an emotional roller coaster because of their father but now I was determined to take my life back. The “marriage” was just a dictatorship in which I was submissive and naïve.

  There was a restraining order against him and we were now officially divorced but I knew he would try to find us. I hoped to God that he had accepted the terms of the court and would stay away because I knew I couldn’t handle it if he came after us again.

  Buffalo, New York, was my home, and it always would be. Nothing had changed and I secretly hoped that all would be the same at home as well. In Buffalo I had a strong family who loved me, though I hadn’t spoken to them in nearly five years. I felt guilty for that but I was sure after hearing my story they would understand.

  I was apprehensive about going back home but I knew that it couldn’t be avoided. What would my parents and brother think? They only knew of me having one daughter and even then they hadn’t seen her since she was five months old. I knew that a lot could change in five years and prayed that nothing too drastic had happened.

  Now on a small side road, I looked at the scores of trees that flanked the road and eventually saw the willow tree. It brought back memories of my childhood. I wondered if it was a sign that I, like that tree, could still weather any storm and stand strong.

  I turned down a familiar road and saw the house at the end of the street, illuminated by Christmas lights. Smoke rose from the red-bricked chimney and gave me a familiar warmth in my chest. I was home at long last and for the first time in what seemed an eternity, I felt alive.

  I parked the car, took a deep breath and prepared myself for the challenge of facing my family. There would be many questions and I wasn’t sure I was prepared to answer them. As I took the key from the ignition, Josie woke up. Her bright green eyes were confused and she still looked exhausted; unsurprising considering we had been traveling for two days.

  “Mommy,” she yawned. “Where are we?”

  “We’re in a better place sweetie. Now I’m going to go get everyone okay. Stay here with Emma and keep her safe.”

  She looked at me with such trust. I stared at her for a while then I finally gathered the courage to face my family. The cold winter air bit into me and I shivered as I got out of the car. Walking up to the porch I could hear the voices of other people. I stood there for what seemed like ages staring at the doorbell. I lifted my hand several times to ring it but my courage failed me. The fact that I had nowhere to go finally did it for me and I pressed the button.

  As the door swung open, I saw my mom standing there looking as radian
t as she always did. Her blond hair was cut short and her crystal blue eyes were filled with emotion. Tears streamed down her face, I couldn’t tell if she was angry or overjoyed.

  “Sarah?” she sobbed as she embraced me. “Where have you been? Where is Josie? Is everything alright?”

  “Josie is alright and I promise I will tell you everything later. I was just hoping that we could stay here.”

  “Of course you can. I’ve been praying for you to come home.”

  Someone came up behind my mother and I looked up to see my brother standing there. His blond hair was cut short and his blue eyes could not make contact with mine. His arms were folded over his chest and I knew he wasn’t happy to see me.

  “Where is dad?” I asked.

  Slowly my mom backed away and dropped her gaze. I stopped breathing and my heart twisted in my chest. Panic took over as I realized that something was wrong. The grief and loss in my mother’s eyes as tears ran down her cheek, said it all.

  “No!” I wheezed as my throat tightened, “Daddy, no!”

  The pain was more than I could handle. It was excruciating. The thought of never seeing my father again made me feel guilty for not returning home sooner. If only I had been in touch, at least I would have known when he passed; if only I had been there, I would have been able to say goodbye. If only…if only…

  “Come on,” my mother interrupted my moment of self-pity. “We’ll get Josie and your things.” She started to walk towards the car. I followed her in a daze. This was not the reunion I had hoped for.

  She pulled open the door and Josie was no longer sitting in her car-seat; instead she was sitting next to Emma and watching her carefully. I watched as she looked over at me and waved awkwardly. I knew she wouldn’t remember her grandmother, but she seemed to be okay.